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Monday, May 22, 2017

Ruby Rose Regrets Going In On Katy Perry



Taylor Swift just rang up her bank and told them to cancel the hell out of Ruby Rose’s snake squad check. This past week, Ruby made a bid for the “Taylor’s New Bestie” role in the squad that’s usually held by a closeted lesbian supermodel. Perhaps someone told Ruby that she was laying it on a little thick with all of the Katy Perry hatred? After all, the first rule in the squad handbook is to always “K.I.S.S.” (Keep It Subtle, Stupid!).
Ruby has returned to the digital high school hallway known as Twitter to unclamp her jaws from Katy’s ankle (Lorde just DM’d Cara Delevingne with “is bish cray?” and the emoji with the stuck-out tongue and winking eye).


Ruby sailed on from her Titanic analogy to explain how the trigger on her angry righteousness got pulled by Katy’s awful song.


Did the KatyCats upend their litter boxes on Ruby’s lawn as a warning? Whatever happened, Ruby had a come-to-Jesus moment in which she realized that she’s not Jesus, and Karma is a bigger bitch than all of these silly girls put together.




Ruby also realized that bullying a bully for bullying is being a bully yourself. Also, a mixed message is no one’s friend. And time is a flat circle. Ruby experienced a dark night of the soul but luckily the Twitter Bird was there to enfold her in its wings.


While grown-ass women keep the future inspiration for Season 36 of Ryan Murphy’s Feud alive and well, you wonder just how far some of these sad sacks are going to go for their fork-tongued queen. If anyone sees Hailee Steinfeld skulking around Katy’s lawn with a gas can and matches, call the police.

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