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Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Hanson Shitting On Justin Bieber Is A Thing I Didn’t Know I Needed

I don’t mean that literally, of course. I have a lot of kinks (like wanting to be yelled at by Patti LuPone and watching porn while eating Popeye’s chicken. I mean, the grease makes for good – I’ll stop), but overaged twink scat porn isn’t one of them, thankyverymuch. If Hanson got big after Justin Bieber did, we’d all probably call them the unholy trinity of Bieber impersonators, so them hating on Bieber is some pot meet kettle shit, but I still love every bit of it.
Hanson took a break from nut busting their way to beating the Duggars’ record to tour, and their tour has taken them to Australia. To promote their tour, they were guests on the Australian radio show Amos, Cat & Angus (via EW) and were asked to play a game of Whose Song Is It Anyway? When the Despacito remix (with Justin Bieber’s voice on it) was played for them, they had no idea what it was and were glad they didn’t know. The littlest Hanson, Zac Hanson, said that he tries to keep his ears away from Justin Bieber’s voice, because he really doesn’t want to spend a part of his day pouring antibiotics into his ear hole after being infected. Hanson MMMBop’d a bitch like this:
Zac Hanson: “I prefer not to get any venereal diseases, so whenever Justin Bieber gets sort of near me or near my ears… it’s just ear infections, they’re terrible.”
Isaac Hanson: “Chlamydia of the ear, it sucks.”
The truth is, that’s pretty wrong and offensive and Hanson needs to apologize. Chlamydia is a disease you get from fucking, which is a fun thing to do. There’s nothing fun about listening to Justin Bieber’s voice. So that dumbass Hanson needs to say sorry to Chlamydia! And yes, in a feud between Hanson and Justin Bieber, I am firmly on Team Chlamydia.

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