Taylor Swift’s current boyfriend Joe Alwyn will soon be known as more than just that guy from Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk. Dating Taylor may be shit for your private life, but it sure doesn’t hurt your career. Not unless you’re trying to land the role of James Bond.
The Hollywood Reporter says that “rising star” Joe has been cast opposite Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan in the film Mary Queen of Scots. Saoirse will play Mary Stuart, Margot will play Queen Elizabeth, and Joe will play Dudley, Queen Elizabeth’s lover. Playing the boyfriend of a wealthy autocrat at a time when her rival is plotting against her? I wonder where he’ll gain inspiration for that character.
Joe has a big job ahead of him, and I’m not talking about learning how to breathe in a gut-suffocating doublet. I’m talking about memorizing all the pre-approved answers about his relationship with Taylor before he does the promotional tour for Mary Queen of Scots. Everyone is going to ask him about it, and it would be a shame if he got any of them wrong. I can only imagine the world of heck he’d be in if he accidentally referred to her as “swell” instead of “sweet.” There’s no improvising in being Taylor’s boyfriend.
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